Life of Bjoernar

If you check out the dictionary, how do they define the word «friend»? How do you define the word friend? A friend means so much. There are good friends. There are bad friends. There are people who’s more than a friend, and those who’s less than being a friend. How do you know where on the scale your friend is?

This is a question I’m still finding difficult to answer. Still, I think I know what’s required to be a good friend. A real friend is the one waiting for you, showing sympathy or empathy, hanging out with you not because of something you have +++. But what if a friend is choosing another guy over you? What if your good friend always calls another guy, asks to hang out with him/her instead of you or something that I mentioned previously? Is that a good friend? I know a guy who does that. He does it towards me. One of my friends calls another guy, hangs out with him, giving him care and just being a better friend to another guy. He had described me as a good friend, but what the heck? If I were a good friend, he would have called me, and cared a little more.

I know I just wrote a great blog about me not being appreciative, but the limit gotta be somewhere. But help me figure this out: no one actually calls me. No one is calling just talk. Is it just me being in the wrong social environment? Luckily, there is someone who cares. The weirdest thing about that rare fact is that they are girls. My female friends are so much nicer to me. I do have male friends to, but the girls care more. Well, it speaks for itself. Girls are more caring.

I hope things will improve when I’m moving. Maybe I’m getting into a better social environment than I’m living in right now. Obviously it’s all about being like everyone else at this place. So at the end of the blog I wanna take a moment to thank those of my friends who isn’t an @*!. :-)

Hi guys.

Sorry for not blogging. I’m shocked by what’s happened in Japan. OMG, it’s unbelievable. It hurts every time they talk about it on the news. The footage captured are just... it’s indescribable.

I want you to take a moment of silence in memory of all the lost lives. Light up a candle, and give your prayers to the people of Japan. The houses just went with the floe, ships had no control and buildings start collapsing. Just like any horrible situation: let’s support each other. Show some respect for the lost lives in Japan. May the destruction be repaired. That’s the only thing we can do. Lives can’t be replaced.

So give your prayers to the people of Japan, and I’ll blog some more later.

Hey guys.

I can really feel the weekend coming. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that there’s gonna be a lot of work to do. That’s what I do these days. A lot of my time goes into work, because I’m getting anxious when not doing it. Well, this lasts for another 5 weeks. I’ll survive, I guess. Today is a day of mystery. There are a lot of things I need to confirm, about the work I do. Some tasks I’m not sure when it’s gonna be done.

I didn’t get to write much today, but I’ve had a OK day. I promise to write more tomorrow when I’m gonna try to have some time off. The work is non-stoping. I gotta calm down. Anyway, I snapped a now photo to my dailybooth, so go check it out right here --> o.O <---.

Haha, love my smiley? :)

Hi!

I’ve done a really good effort to accomplish my tasks. I have to continue right now, but I came just to say that my day has been alright, no worries and I hope you’ve had a great day to.

I gotta keep on working if I’m gonna make it until the end of the week. :)

Hey you all!

This day has been good and bad at the same time. Today I’ve realized how arrogant it’s possible to become, and how annoyed it’s possible to get. Trust me, people can make fun of you when they’re winning. That’s arrogant and annoying. Well, it’s not my life. It’s your own fault that I don’t like you. I’m the boss of my own life. Make fun of me if you like, but I won’t like you any more for that reason. Remember this; you’re also far from perfect. A little moment of payback right there. :-)

You guys have no idea how much I’m looking forward to move. I want a little more independence than I got right now. The liberty I need isn’t here. I need some other place to live to find the independence and freedom I need. Although I’m taking care of myself now, I want to have more responsibility. I want to be able to go out for a movie without checking if it’s alright.

I also think the social environment is very different from where I’m living right now. I hope it is, really. I don’t like how the social environment is where I live right now. There are always someone who wants to bother another. Everybody knows everybody and there isn’t a lot of privacy when something happens. I don’t like that. I don’t need to know everybody who’s driving by. I don’t need other people to care about every thing I do.

The place I’m moving to is a place where everybody don’t know everybody. The entire city doesn’t know about my private stuffs. I just wanna be another person on the sidewalk. That’s why I love the city as much as I do. I can’t wait!! :-D

Hope you got a little peek of my day today. :-)

Hey you!

Hi guys.

You think the mood is any better? Bite me if it is. Seriously, I’m tired of all the things that bothers me. If only I could stop it.

Well, a blog is a blog; you gotta do it sometimes to keep the interests alive. I do got one thing that’s great. I heard Alexis Jordan on the TV today. She were on a Norwegian talk show, and sang the song «Happiness» at the end of the show. She’s pretty good. I’ll definitely buy her debut album when it releases. I don’t know whether to buy it on iTunes or for real, like a CD. I think iTunes is the best. I got a Macbook, I got a iTunes account... it’s not like I’m gonna throw away my Macbook next year or something. So I guys I’ll buy it on iTunes. I’ve never done it before. Kinda cool, I guess. At least you got some good things out of me. :-)

You know, maybe it’s just me not being able to be positive right now. When I think about it, I can let the thoughts stay at the side for a moment. But I guess it’s hard to leave them. The assignment I got I think isn’t gonna be done until Friday next week. That gives me 7 days more. The other things that bothering me: those things have been bothering me for some time now. I just got to think about them this week. It hasn’t bothered me a lot before. Why is it coming now? Is it my own fault that things are what they are? Whatever it is, it’s time to let it go. Life goes on. I can’t waste it on some bullshit that’s been going on for a long time without bothering me. Sorry for using the word «bullshit» online, but I’m dominating myself! I’m me, and nobody else are. The person I am every day, is me and no one else. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: I think I’m finally am back!! :-D

Now, to prove it I wanna thank all of my readers for clicking in and checking in my life. You obviously care enough to read my blog, and I hope you’ll keep reading. When the video blog is up, it is for real. That’s when my dreams are becoming reality. I love you all. Peace to you all! <3

Hi guys.

I gotta say: this is the worst vacation I’ve ever had. Nothing has been alright beside the trip to Sweden. I’m ill, I feel guilty, jealous, lousy... I could keep on all day; I’m not feeling great. First of all; I’m ill, and that makes the entire vacation bad. Then my brothers girlfriend lost everything on her external hard drive. That’s what I’m feeling guilty about. We attached the hard drive to the xbox to watch film, but it said that the hard drive was empty. I’m blaming myself. It’s probably my fault, it always is. I’m not gonna tell you what the other things are, but you get the clue of why this is the worst vacation EVER.

Usually, I would tell you what to do in these cases, but this time I’m not sure either. What I’m gonna do is write everything down. Write down what’s bothering you and how you feel when feeling this way. Then you provide it to someone you trust, like a parent, brother, shrink... whatever. That’s the only suggestion I can come up with right now if you ever feel the same.

Ah great... I had to deny my friend to come over.... ARGH!!! That’s it, I’m out off here...

Hey guys!

How are you? I’m sitting in the living room just thinking. I’m thinking about the future. What am I going to do +++. There are a lot of unsolved codes in life. I’m actually stressed about the work I got this vacation. I wanna go to the alpine center, I need to do some work this week, I wanna relax.. you see where the stress and the anxious is kicking in? Hope you do, cause I don’t wanna over explain it. The point is: I don’t want anything to ruin my future or my fun. I know that both of these things might be ruined sometimes, and I don’t wanna put more weight on fun even though it’s tempting.

For instance; I wanna play the xbox right now. I can’t because I got work to do. So, the question is: am I going to play the xbox, or am I gonna work? The best thing for my future would be to work, but on the other hand, I have 5 days to do the work. That means, I can enjoy the xbox. Or can I? You see what I’m talking about? I’m literally picking up a fight with myself. I can’t win over myself. When I draw a conclusion, a part of me won when the other part lost. It’s like being in two football teams at once.

This is confusing to say without feeling that it’s over explained, but this is the fact of my everyday life. I’m here to tell you the story of my life, and there you have a part of it: over-complication. I have too much on my mind, too much to do, too large ambitions... I can’t fulfill them all. It’s time to shorten the list of needs. I don’t need to try so hard, but it will affect a dream. I don’t have to move to America, but it will affect a dream. Sometimes your dreams gotta be affected. That’s how it is. Everything doesn’t go as it plans. And when the plan fails, you need to move on with your life without getting stuck in the disaster.

No. When your dreams takes a turn, you gotta make new dreams out of the possibilities you have after the failure. By that way, you can accomplish something great again. If you don’t create new goals, you’re gonna end up saying that your life sucks, which it doesn’t. Not if you make new dreams. A short philosophy on dreams right there.

You know what? I’m gonna play some xbox. I got 5 days on the assignment. I can take an evening to play a video game. If I enjoy the rest of this evening, then doing some hard work until I’m done, I’m gonna be happy. If you enjoy yourself a little before working, you’re gonna have some energy to work. And when the work is done, you can enjoy yourself some more. The faster the tasks is done, the faster you get to enjoy yourself and the more time you get. I’m not saying that you should think of fun over work, depending on the situation and the time you got, but if you’re gonna make it anyway - do it! I’m going too... oh, my brother turned on the TV. He’s watching something else on the TV, so I can’t play the xbox. But you know what? Dreams changes, even if you don’t want it. I gotta change the dream right now. I’m gonna enjoy the TV instead. See? That’s how easy it is to use.

Take my advise, enjoy life, and I’ll see you later. :-)
 

Hey you guys!

Today has been a very good day. The weather was nice, the mood was alright and I’ve been relaxing a lot this last day of a great weekend. I’ve been hanging around on my mac and watching skiing on TV. The qualification for the World Championship in Holmenkollen, Norway was today. That’s why I watched it. Just because I don’t have anything else to do. It kinda gave me the temptation to go skiing. I don’t know why. My weightlifting training isn’t going that well, so I kinda wanted to find something else to do. I want to maybe dance, box or go skiing. That’s more motivating than weightlifting for me right now. I need to get into some pattern if I’m gonna be able to weight-lift later. I’m used to not having a pattern for being active. Therefore, it’s hard to jump right into it at once. I guess I gotta make some routines if I’m gonna succeed with the weightlifting/bodybuilding. I’m not sure how much weightlifting I should do anyway. I don’t wanna become a large monster or something. I just wanna be in shape. Maybe weightlifting isn’t the activity I’m looking for if I only want to be in shape. The main motivation for weightlifting is because my brother does it, but his goals is more different than mine. You know where I’m going with this?

Having fun gives results

I believe the best results comes from activities you enjoy. You might enjoy lifting weights like I do when being motivated, but if you aren’t motivated, it’s hard to get results. When I lift weights, the motivation and fun I see is when being able to lift a special amount of weight. I gotta be honest; I don’t see any results on my body after weightlifting. The reason might be that I have such a lot of space between each session, but the point is the same. The reason for that reason is that there’s no one there to work out with me. It’s extremely demotivating and boring to work out alone. The only one being there while working out is Metallica. Lol. I listen to the album «Load» while working out. Don’t worry, I bought the CD. I don’t steal music, and you shouldn’t either. Anyway, back to main topic. I enjoyed the first session I had of boxing, so maybe the problem for the motivation is that it needs to be funny/enjoyable. I do enjoy weightlifting, yes, but I don’t enjoy it as much as boxing. Boxing seems really fun. If boxing were available where I live right now, I would be doing that instead of weightlifting. It doesn’t, so I’m lifting weights instead. That’s the only activity I’m available for. I don’t wanna play soccer. I don’t wanna play bandy. I wanna lift weights, dance or box. That leaves me a choice of none. Therefore, I have to find motivation for weightlifting and make some results out of it.

The Norwegian Parliament

By the way, I wanna tell you something about this week. This week I signed myself into a political party for youths this week. I’ve been considering it for a while, but haven’t done it until this week. If someone asked me a year ago if I wanted to sign in, the answer would be «no». There is a lot happening during a year. All of a sudden I start engaging myself into politics, enjoying art, getting up early in the morning... what’s happening to me?! I wonder what’s made me become this way. A lot of those I know doesn’t give a damn about anything. I don’t care if they aren’t politically engaged, but I can’t understand why I am. I guess I just wanna express what I mean about the topics within politics.

I gotta change the layout... this doesn’t look good.

Well, that’s it for today. Stay tuned for more!

 

Hi guys!

I didn't blog yesterday because I was to sick to do so, which clearly result to something bad. I just understand. When you're sick and can't go to work, why are they saying that your staying home only to skip work? I have to stay home today because I'm sick. They say I'm staying home to skip work. That's so false. I have a presentation today and I can see how that makes me look, but seriously; I'm sick and it isn't my fault. When my colleges are sick, they think they are sick when their not. When I'm sick, then it suddenly is a try to skip work. What is that, some kind of racism or something? I'm one of those who actually care about my work, and then I'm the one who just skips it?! I don't think so. Those who don't care has a bigger reason to stay home besides being sick. I'm sick and horrified that I can't do the presentation today, but still I'm told that I'm skipping it because I don't want to go and work today. That annoys me. You obviously can't expect anything else then that. This is how the community has turned out to be, unfortunately. So today I've been home doing nothing than trying to get well. There is a reason why it's called "get well soon", isn't it? 

Have you ever felt "disgusting" when something isn't what I should be? I know it sounds weird, but what I mean is: do you annoy yourself over things that isn't done, look good or anything like it? For instance, if your room is messy, and it should be clean, you feel like you've been working and gotten dirty. Do you every feel that way? I know it's a weird question to ask, but I'm experiencing it. When something isn't right like not doing my hair, cleaned my room or something I feel dirty. Like, really really dirty. I don't know why. That's why I'm so upsests with getting things done when I should so I don't have to have that feeling. It can just be by not putting hairgel in my hair after showering. I don't know what's wrong with me, but if others of you also feel this way - let me know. I hate being such a weirdo. I swear, I can go around for months annoying myself by thinking of those things I should do. Working out more often is one of them. There is just some things that we need to do to let it go. Therefore it's wise to organize the days so you make sure you'll get it done. If not you'll be thinking about it for a while. That's the way it works.

*sight*... that video blog. It annoyes me that I havent't got it started yet. Why is it going this slow? You know what, this weekend is going to be about doing whatever it takes to make the video blog started. I can't wait anymore. I have really big ambitions about it, and I want to accomplish it. For that reason, I'm going to rehears my accent, my speaking and plan whatever's needed for the video blog THIS WEEKEND! I have to do it really soon. I'm so unpatient. If someone knows some really good tips and tricks for getting started, let me know. I'll do (almost) anything to make the video blog starting soon. I wish I had more English speaking friends. If I had, I could Skype them. That way I can rehears my accent and speaking to a camera. I need to get some more friends.

There you go. This is what annoys me, and can annoy me for a long period of time. The video blogging annoys me. I really want to start, but there is something in the way of accomplishing it. The easiest way to make this annoying feeling disappear, is by doing what your suppose to do. Try accomplishing your goals and what you need to do so you don't have to think about it anymore. So that's what I'm going to do this weekend; getting closer to accomplishing what I want.

Well, that's what today is all about. Therefore this is the end of this blog.

I'll see you later!
  

Hi guys!

Have you ever woke up in the morning and NOT think about yesterdays mistakes? Especially when you should have, haven't you thought about it? I experienced this morning. Yesterday I was suppose to meat two of my best friends, Sofia and Lisa, but I was too exhausted to join them. I felt awful about it yesterday (after all, I said that I got to improve myself). Amazingly enough, I didn't think about it when I woke up this morning. I usually think about it for a long time feeling bad about it. Of course I feel bad about it, but life goes on. You can't stop living the day today if you can't accept yesterday. I will learn from this, but I just need to move on. Yes, it was a bad thing to do, but you can't get stuck in a situation and let your life pass by. Think about it.

If someone asks you in 20 years what you did as a youth, your answer shouldn't be "feeling bad". Bad things happen to every single person on earth (it does), just accept it. Some things are harder to get over than other, but don't get stuck in a small situation. I can meat my friends another day. It's not like it's the last possible day to meat them. I'm actually moving into the same city that one of my friends are living in. So it's definitely not the last time I see them. Therefore you might get over it easier, despite the fact that it was bad of me to not be exhausted I just have to get over it. I think I kinda did this morning.

Now you probably got the feeling of me being a baby, but very small things has been bothering me for a while in my life. Now I can accept it and move on.

Even though I'm over it, I'm sorry about not having the possibility to meat my friends.

So, I'm gonna tell you a little about the day tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm going to Sweden to be in the best alpine center I know about (in other words; the best I've been at).  I'm going there with three great friends. Linn (played/plays in a band with her), Per Kristian (a cool dude I've known for a while) and my best friend Mattias (wild drummer and friend). Anyway, I think we're gonna have a lot of fun despite my skiing skills. I'm telling you this once, and no more: I was not born with skies on my feet like (almost) all Norwegians has. Snowblades are hardcore, OK?! I taken time to learn anything else like Twin-tip or snowboard. So I'm riding safe on Snowblades, even though it's silly. Sorry, but it is.

We are kinda worried that we're not gonna get the enthusiasm and hyperactive tomorrow. Especially Linn and I. Nothing is like being hyperactive on a alpine trip. Well, Mattias doesn't need that actually. He is always hyperactive :-)! That's great, cause then he will go nuts when drinking caffeine.

In other words: tomorrow's gonna be great! :-)

I gotta pack for tomorrow, but make sure to stay tuned at my blog! :-)

I'll see you later!

Hi guys!

Hi guys!

Finally the vacation has started! OMG so wonderful! When I got home, there were nothing but positive energy. It surely is Christmas. Me and my dad decorated the Christmas three today, which made it look great. Manpower FTW! Ah, yeah; you can't deny the manpower! Look, sorry if todays blog is late. I got vacation, so I'm a little lazy + late. Who cares anyway, you guys are awesome!

Today I talked about this last year, and found out that a lot of things have change since last year. I've become more social, found myself even more and  found some purposes of life. I'm surprised about how much that can change just after a year. I've met a lot of great people, realized who I am and found out about small things like my religious view for instance. In 2009 I really wondered if I were Christian, and I also had a lot of confusion. Now I know what I want to know, sorta. The new things in life I need to learn now is how important responsibility becomes, what love is, how to organize my days and more.

Those kinda things are important to know later in your life, and it's great if you find out about it early. I've been chatting with a girl for a while now, and I look at myself as annoying. She doesn't think I'm annoying (at least she say so), but I think I am. Therefore, I can improve myself. How can I make myself feel like not being annoying? It's easy to know. Just fin those things you think is annoying, and change it (unless it changes you). Maybe that change who you are, and makes people like you more. I don't know. It's just something you have to try and see. I've started to think before saying things so I don't say a lot of lame things. I did that a lot in 2009. Trust me. I think that also came from me not finding myself. But know I know, and I talk more to people, so there's got to be something improved.

Hope you enjoy these type of blogs. If I know my audience right, this is what they want; according to the stats at least. Blogging isn't always the easiest thing to do, to be honest. You need to have something to write, the time to write and the effort to write. That's why it's been hard these last days. I've already told you why I didn't write some of the days. But the point is; blogging isn't the easiest thing to do without preparation. I'm just lucky that I've done a lot of the blog posts without even knowing what to write before starting. Still i got long blogs. That's how good I am. Just face it people! :-D

This blog would have been longer if I got to try Black Ops today, but I didn't, therefore the blog ends here. Anyway, I'm glad you stayed tuned like your gonna keep doing. I love you guys! <3

I'll see you later!